Nicholas' Birthday Fundraiser for Kinderzug

Today, like most days this year, felt like walking a tightrope elevated far up in the sky. Winds are blowing, it's raining and you keep telling yourself that "everything will be okay." Fight or flight sets in, as well as blaring noise from a device in your pocket you don't even dare look at. 

 

Today is my birthday and I am spending it directing a TV show whilst wearing a mask, talking to people via headset and keeping it all together for the crew, my beloved actors, the production team that can't be on-site due to the carefully observed governmental regulations and for myself. 

 

It's all a bit much today, as a monitor on the side transmits coverage of the US elections and I find myself hoping and praying with every cell in my body, for a democratic victory for the Democratic Party. At times I find myself gagging up, gasping for air and am thankful I get to look the other way, not because I want to, but because I have to. 

 

Speaking of being grateful, I am grateful today that I can work as an artist and get paid for it. That is a privilege many of my friends currently don't have. Today calls for flexibility and yesterday did too. I think of the novel I finished writing just as C19 hit and how publishing houses weren't willing to read it, for they had already negotiated contracts for books they didn't know how to put out. 

 

Today is my birthday and I think of my good friend and colleague who spent the last two weeks at Berlin's Charité hospital surrounded by other heavy cases and breathing through an iron lung. For a moment it looked like he wasn't going to make it. I am grateful, really grateful, that he did. 

 

During the last lockdown I trained myself to rise at 5am, which is when the sun sets in California, as I joined a meditation group on Instagram Live. This way I could feel connected to my 2nd home, which I couldn't inhabit due to travel restrictions, and this was something that grounded me, kept me feeling connected, gave me a piece of something I missed so much. These days I find myself practicing Hinduism and Buddhism, next to the Christian faith I was raised with. Faith complements faith and today I am grateful for this too. 

 

Today is my birthday and I'm in good spirits, I have a more or less sane head on my shoulders and can breathe on my own. As some of you might use a little moment out of your day to think of me, even if it's just due to the reminder function on this social media platform, I want you to know that I appreciate that. When the shoot ends I'll lift of a glass of sparkling wine in my apartment with my flatmate from Teheran and we will feel connected to friends, family and whoever needs it right now. 

 

Faithfully yours, 

*Nicholas. 

 

ps: I have attached the possibility for you to make a donation. All donations will benefit the "Kinderzug", which I actively support and take part in since 2007. The "Kinderzug" is a Christian project that brings disabled children to Lourdes and gifts them a week full of hope and a most joyous train ride. Your small gift helps keep this project alive and you can find out more at www.kinderzug.org