A Tree of Life

This morning while I was reading, this incredible verse stood out to me and I thought I would share it...

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

It made me pause and think about the sickness that is in the world, and specifically the sickness of AIDS that exists in Africa. I have been reading much about AIDS and I understand some of the details of how the disease spreads and manifests itself in the bodies of those who are stricken. I know practically that the disease itself has real, physical causes and symptoms, and that it leaves millions of children without caretakers and that the "elders" of many African communities are only now in their 30s.

But this verse made me think more about the sickness of sorrow and the sickness of the soul that people suffer from when immersed in an environment where their longings and hopes are never once asked after, where their dreams may never see the light of day because they are overwhelmed by physical needs, and that physical realm is the only focus the world ever attempts to provide solutions for. Can you know hope when you haven't had a mothers love, a shirt, a bowl of rice? Can you still dream on an empty stomach?

What kind of emotional healing of the heart and the soul can we bring to people by bringing kindness, showing love, encouraging people to dream and helping them bring those longed for dreams to life? Is this ache deeper than hunger?

My friend Steve Sacher was so excited that the ministry Awaken was willing to donate the books "Wide Awake" and "Soul Cravings" to HEART so that Steve could bring them to Kenya to share with the staff and students because these two books foster dreaming, they encourage people to seek their purpose, to risk, to leap into the unknown and consider the health and fulfillment of their hearts.  They give solid examples and testimonials of other people who have taken that journey and the beauty they found in the process. They provide practical ideas on how people can find a way to feed the longings of the soul.

We here in the US, and many other countries of the world are fortunate enough to have our basic needs met, to have shelter, to have education, to have health. We have the opportunity to dream.

Are you wasting your opportunity to dream? How is the health of your heart?

How can we use this incredible opportunity and the gifts we have been given to provide a way of fulfilling longings of the heart to those who are in need of a healthy heart?

Encouragement from Others

Today, I wanted to share some encouragement I have already received thus far in regards to the Kenya trip this summer. It has already been an amazing journey and I've yet to step foot on African soil.

Yesterday, in response to my blog post, my sister Becky, who lives in Germany and works for a non-profit and is also an incredible writer and publisher of the first English Literature Journal in Berlin the Sand Journal, sent me an incredibly nice and encouraging email. I wanted to share part of it with you in hopes that it will also encourage you in whatever projects you are focused on this summer.

Here is an excerpt from her email, she encouraged me  so succinctly and simply that I wanted to share her version, she is the writer after all...:

"I often also struggle with being too independent, especially with recent projects, its always that I want things to be perfect and I know i can do a good job. But that can really cut out other people from the opportunity for them to do something good, and for me to be surprised. even if an outcome is different than what i had expected, the relationships that are built by doing things together are more lasting and valuable in the end. there may be people who don't respond, and even some who have negative responses, (because it's so easy to be cynical) but try not to take those to heart, and stick to your vision and take the positive encouragement and realize that there are others who want to do good things too. I remember Grandpa (Papa) quoting me an encouraging poem, and I always quote it to myself when i'm surrounded by uncreative, cynical people who think i'm insane for trying something, and it actually helps.

"Somebody said it couldn't be done, but he with a chuckle replied that maybe it couldn't but he would be the one who wouldn't say no til he'd tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin, he took off his hat and went to it. He started to sing, as he tackled that thing that couldn't be done, and he did it.

There are millions to tell you it cannot be done, there are millions to prophecy failure. There are millions to point out to you one by one, the problems that wait to assail you. But just buckle right in,just chuckle and grin, just roll up your sleeves and go to it. Just start to sing as you tackle that thing that cannot be done, and you'll do it."

i've had a large realization that success and meaning in life is not generated by what brilliant ideas you have, how qualified you are, how many resources you have at your disposal, how many people you know (though these are all factors at some point or another) but rather by what you actually DO. And when you DO something, it kind of gives people pause - even the cynics - because it is so much harder to DO something than to criticize everything and say it won't work. the positive response you will see from DOING something just a little bit creative shows us how unique it is for people to actually DO anything at all. "

So,I just wanted to point out that i'm not just doing something, i've specifically studied and chosen to participate in this particular amazing opportunity with Africa HEART to help however i can.

I chose to DO this because of some key factors:

1.) they promote health education and more than just "assisting" they want to help people DREAM about their future, and help them develop self-sustaining business and support locally.  They are fostering imagination, creativity, conversation, community and independence with the people they are working with in Nairobi and in the slums outside of the city. They are DOING daily, what other people only talk about and dismiss as impossible.

2.) My friend Steve Sacher, who works for HEART as the Volunteer coordinator (for lack of a better term, but he is the man on the ground in Nairobi, in the thick of things, making it happen daily and coordinating every group that volunteers...read His Blog Here). I have had the privilege to see his deep commitment from a distance (in the US), I have had a chance to hear about his passions, fears, hopes and dreams for the community in Kenya and mostly, I see his courage and commitment to stand, even if alone financially, physically, emotionally - to face the struggles, sorrows and hopeless situations that are encountered daily.  There are so few leaders I would trust enough to follow into battle, Steve is one of them because he would be there fighting next to me. Steve is one of the few people I know who is actively, giving his life away daily to serve other people, because that is what he has been called to do.  How could I, as a friend, not choose to support that in some way? That is why I have chosen THIS thing to DO.

What cause, what dream or hope do you care about enough that you would be willing to risk your life to see it happen?

I am willing to accept that to some, I may look crazy, it may look unconventional because on my first trip to Africa, i'm not going with a group from my church (although they do amazing work worldwide too and i'm a huge supporter of Beyond Us), I'm realizing that I need to serve not for the approval of others, but for God alone to see my that my heart is ready to be obedient and I am ready to be used as his instrument to show kindness to others. Please do not confuse this to mean that i'm going to recruit the world to become "Christians" as a "vaccuum cleaner salesman for God" as a pastor Erwin McManus has said. But I am going to serve and be the hands and the feet and the heart that we have been called to be in the world because love wins.

This is the only reason I need not to give up and it is a terrific reason to be encouraged to keep moving forward.

Partner with me!

Thoughts About Fundraising - Be The Water

During this process of starting to plan for fundraising, I have found a flaw within myself. 

I am not as courageous or as immune to opinion as I thought I was.

I have discovered that it is really quite challenging to make oneself vulnerable to others, even if its for an amazing cause such as Africa HEART. Though I have been very involved with community service here within Los Angeles, and I have worked with the organization serveLA for the past two years as a volunteer web programmer, marketing organizer, video editor, volunteer coordinator, I realized that I have never really been involved in a project where it was neccessary to fundraise so extensively, where the ultimate success of the project depended on the kindness and generosity of others, and where I so strongly believed in the value of the cause and the organization that my heart was instantly on my sleeve for all to see before I even GOT to the place where I would be serving with others.

Another part of this process has been the realization that much of the way I have been serving is in an independant way - doing things on my own for the most part,  vs. in community with others, dependant on others, reliant on others - trusting that other people will care about this organization that I care about. Trusting that the support will come through, that somehow, the money required, that is still at this point a big, looming question mark, will arrive and I will be able to step on that plane and know that we have been given a remarkable gift and opportunity - that we are going to do something incredible together.

It has been an interesting journey and I'm not even in the process of traveling yet, I'm only just started with the planning and the process of inviting people to care about this cause, which is so dear to me. Man, it is really hard on some days to have faith. 

No one wants to be dissappointed or let down. Least of all, do we want to feel alone, yes even I of the independent service record, wish to feel supported and surrounded by well meaning and enthusiastic community who believe that what we are trying to accomplish is valuable, it has meaning, it has a purpose and I should pursue the purpose against all odds that I might encounter. Surprisingly to me this week, I found that the first of these odds I will face, which I am overcoming, is my own fear of failure.

As I was writing my fundraising letters this week, signing them, sealing the envelopes, addressing them, affixing the postage, I had to try SO hard to get the negative thoughts out of my head - thoughts that I assumed others would have when they read the letter. Whether it would be a negative thought about the request for money, or the request for prayer, or the overall cause itself, All I could think about was what someone's negative reaction might be. Never did I think of how they might find it inspirational, encouraging or hopeful. It made me ask myself the question "Why do I have this instinct to sabotage myself? and What led to me having so little faith in others, to wrongly attribute to them my own deepest, darkest fears?" Yesterday, someone told me "Everything looks like a failure if you stop in the middle" , and I realized, I'm not even in the middle yet, I've only just begun. It is not time for questioning, it is a time for faith, there is not room for negativity, only for love and hope.

If I hope to accomplish what I have set out to do here with this project for AFRICA HEART, I must first choose myself to practice the story of hope that I am longing to capture on film. I can only be full of Faith and full of joy knowing that the meaning will be revealed NOT in the middle, but only once we have reached our goal and work, conribute, support, move as a community to serve others TOGETHER.

I wrote a new song the other day - inspired by the book THE ALCHEMIST and the bridge goes like this:

let me be like water,

flowing to the sea,

moving towards a purpose still unknown to me,

Make me a refraction,

use me as a lens

to focus your compassion on the least of these...

Today, I wish to set aside my fears, to embrace joy, to trust in the goodness of others, I wish to be like water and refresh those in need, parched for kindness, seeking life.

I've realized this week, that it takes many drops of water to make a full drink... will you choose to be a part of this life-giving drink of water in Kenya this year?