How a Salvadoran woman was empowered to confront d

Apopa is one of the most violent towns north of San Salvador. A woman participates in two workshops in Nonviolent Communication and Focusing given at a church in Apopa. She is very interested in the classes, and tapes the hand-outs to the walls of her house, to remind her to apply what she is learning.

One day, before leaving for his job as a day laborer, her husband tells one of his daughters to wash a pair of his sneakers. When he arrives home from work, tired and stressed, he sees that the girl has not washed his shoes. He yells at her and hits her hard on the back. The mother tells him to stop, but he is not listening. He leaves the house and goes to his mother’s.

His mother tells him that he is right to punish his daughter. When the wife hears this, she feels like her husband and his mother are united against her. When she feels like this, she often storms over to her mother-in-law’s and yells at her to stop interfering . This time, she remembers to pause and breathe and notice what she feels and what she needs. She decides not go to her mother-in law’s.

The next day, when her husband gets home, she sits down with him and calmly tells him that it is not OK with her for him to hit his daughter like he did. She tells him she needs respect, safety and consideration.

Her husband recognizes that he had committed a serious error. He asks his wife to forgive him.

He is very surprised that she has calmly asked him to sit down with her and talk about the incident, instead of rushing over to his mother’s house and venting at her. “What are they teaching you those workshops?” he asks. She tells him about what she is learning and reads the hand-outs to him.

She says their family life has changed for the better.